Thursday, November 11, 2004

Dear Patsy – 

A question for you: What do a bare-chested guitarist, a midget wearing a Dr. Seuss hat, and a 6’5" African-American rapper have to do with country music? I’ll give you a minute to think about it.

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"Nothing?" Is that what you said: "Nothing?" Well you’re absolutely right, of course, Patsy; but then what THE HELL were they doing on stage at the 38th Annual CMA Awards this week? I’ll tell you what the hell they were doing: they were part of a group named Big and Rich that for some unknown reason is getting play on country music stations. What is going on here, Patsy? These clowns were even nominated for the Horizon Award. But fortunately more reasonable heads prevailed and the award went to Gretchen Wilson.

I approve. I must confess that until this week I thought of Gretchen Wilson as a one-dimensional performer: not much difference between her two hits "Red Neck Woman" and "Here for the Party." But at the awards show she sang a truly, truly soulful country song named "When I Think about Cheating." She’s the real deal, Patsy. Reminds me of Sarah Evans when she was first coming up.

Speaking of Sarah Evans. Wouldn’t it be fun to have a party and invite Sarah Evans and Terri Clark (left) and her All-Girl band? They seem to be such fun people. Not to mention easy on the eyes. Neither one of them won an award but their performances were just great. You would have been proud.

There were a couple of surprises at the awards this year, Patsy. First of all, Keith Urban won the Male Vocalist of the Year Award, beating out Kenny Chesney (who was named Entertainer of the Year), Alan Jackson, Toby Keith and George Strait. Dubious. Secondly, Alan Jackson, nominated for seven awards this year, came up empty-handed. This is in sharp contrast to last year when he won in three categories. But remember what he said last year at the show? Embarrassed by his popularity he advised the CMA to start giving some awards to the new performers on the scene lest they become discouraged. My guess is that the CMA took him at his word. Not surprisingly, Toby Keith also came up empty-handed. As I wrote last year, he still doesn’t get it, Patsy.

I’ll tell you who does get it, though. Alison Krauss gets it. In the Musical Event of the Year category she was actually competing against herself! Her collaboration with James Taylor on the Louvin Brothers classic "How’s the World Treating You?" lost out to her duet with Brad Paisley ("Whiskey Lullaby"). Her voice is so pure, Patsy, I sometimes think that she’s on loan from heaven for a while. Am I right?

And speaking of heaven, have you run into Ray Charles yet? When you do, ask him to sing "Born to Lose" for you. It will give you the goose bumps. (Is that even possible in your condition?)

You know who was inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame, Patsy? Kris Kristofferson. What a class act. A Rhodes Scholar, he’s got to be the most intelligent songwriter of our generation. The show included your old friend Willie Nelson ("For the Good Times"), Randy Travis ("Sunday Morning Coming Down") and Faith Hill ("Help Me Make It through the Night") singing just a few of Kris’s hits. Faith Hill reminded me that when she wants to (and she seldom does) she can still sing a good country song. I was pleased to hear her country voice again. But one person who ain’t never comin’ back, apparently, is Shania Twain. Why they invite her to the awards show is beyond me. (Although she did have a lovely dress!). At least they’ve stopped nominating her for awards! (And while I’m on the subject of performers who have NOT been nominated for awards, it gives me great pleasure to tell you that neither the word "Dixie" nor the word "Chick" was uttered at all during the broadcast. Finally! They’re history.
Patty Loveless was not nominated for anything this year, Patsy, but she sang a beautiful duet with Alan Jackson titled, I think, "You Left My Heart as Empty as a Monday Morning Church." I think Patty gets better looking each year, don’t you?

Two other acts at the Awards show are worth mentioning. Like Faith Hill, Reba McIntyre has been away from country music doing other things. But at the show she sang a beautiful song, "He Gets That from Me," that just flowed out of her as naturally and as easily as ever. I hope she’s gotten that Hollywood thing out of her system and returns to where she belongs. And finally, although you know how I feel about Toby Keith, I should mention that he sang a duet with his young daughter Kristin that really made me stop and take notice. Where does a 14-year-old girl get the stage presence and poise that she exhibited at the show? They sang "Mockingbird," that old James Taylor-Carly Simon song and did a great job with it.

Just to round out the awards, Patsy, here are the other winners:

Still miss you very much, Patsy. Wish you were here. And, as usual, give my best to Hank.

-= Robert